"'Twas the night before Ethiopian Xmas" by Edwin

My Christmas eve night was marked by a fierce encounter with ants. I think that my brother back home captured the night best with the following poem:

'Twas the night before Ethiopian Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stethoscopes were hung in the Tukel with care,

In hopes that St Jude soon would be there.

The patients were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar, supplies and plums danced in their heads.

And mamma in her ol' PJ's, and I in my Twins cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the electic outlet and felt an instant rash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen insect

Gave the lustre of mid-day for objects to inspect.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature army, and eight million Ants to fear.

With an old wash cloth and bottle in hand,

I knew in a moment cleaning was my last stand

More rapid than eagles the chemicals I did spray,

I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dash Ant! now, Flat Ant! now, Dead Ant and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Rid! on, Windex, on Blitzen!

To the Front of the porch! from the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew up my head, and gut turned 'round,

Down the house wiring came insects abound.

They were dressed all in ant fur, each from head to foot,

Their exterior frames all tarnished with sand and soot.

A bundle of friends each had to their back,

And each looked like a peddler, just hoping for a snack.

Their many eyes-how they twinkled! with dimples how scary!

Their cheeks were like roses, Their teeth the color cherry!

Their droll little mouths were filled with a glow,

And I noted they made little smears as bright as the snow.

They were chubby and plump - must have ate a right roll of jelly.

And I laughed nervously when I saw them, in spite of myself!

A wink of their many eyes and a twist of their heads,

Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to work,

And sprayed all the entries, then turned with a jerk.

And laying my fingers to cover my nose,

And giving a last stomp, until each critter tragically froze!

I let out a sigh as the spray bottle stopped it's whistle,

Away the rest flew away like the down of a thistle..

But I heard one exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a sleepless-night!"

Inspired by “'Twas the Night Before Christmas”. Special thanks to my brother for making me laugh.